Meanwhile, back at the farm, things are really piling up.

I'm back here for the first time in 2 years, I figured. I quite stumbled on that date by accident, while going through my scrapbook bag to find some such oddity like a Barbie sticker or something birthday related. I'm making birthday scrapbooks for my girls. But that's besides the point. I found old photos from the last retreat we attended together. The LAST one. Funny, do you ever think that what your doing right now might be the last time you actually do that thing? Back to the date. It was 2007, and I believe it was the fall retreat.

We always scrapbooked together out here. Me and her. Her and I. Which one is it, and do you really care if I use proper grammar? Let's see, since 2004 I think? No, I think she came out once before then, in '03. I had moved here from the south. Actually, we lived in the center of the province, but moved north. She asked me if i was going to the ladies retreat at a bible camp south of where I live now, and I said no, but I was going to a scrapbook retreat with my new consultant at a bible camp that is relatively close to my home. She came up then, to join me. It was tradition ever since.

This is my first time back in 2 years, and she's not with me. Odd, yes. Heartbreaking, yes. Did I cry? Oh yeah. People asked me, "Where's Jane? Is she not coming with you?" My consultant, who knows the real deal, came to me in private, and filled me in that another lady was asking after Jane. "I think Karen told her that Jane is in university, and couldn't make it. Just so you know." Bless her for filling me in. Still, it makes me sad.

Jane and I aren't friends anymore. I broke it off with her this spring, for good. At the time it was easy, and I knew that God was calling me to end a friendship that was too much for me. Details aren't important. God knows and he asked me to do this, so I did. I had some confessions to make after that, and that wasn't so easy. Like telling my husband that yeah, I loved my bff way more than I loved him. That I realized that my relationship with her was damaging my marriage to him, so I had to end my friendship. He understood, and said that it made sense. Still, one of the hardest things I've had to do. Confessing sins is tough stuff.

Isn't life ironic? I am sleeping in the first room we ever shared together, Jane and I. I realized that shortly after my friend and I unloaded our gear last night. Maybe this is so that I can bring closure to my end-of-friendship thing. I cried just before sleep whisked me off. It is bittersweet, being here.

It's not the same. I don't think it will ever be.

how does this work?

Hey, Molly here. Just trying out this new blog site. I do post on another blog, and it's a wee bit different than this. I'm not sure what I think of this yet, so I thought, why not try a mini post to bore the readers, and I'll see if I can google myself and find this. Sounds like a good time!
Stay tuned for more real life episodes in the life of me.