Well, that's unfortunate.

I realized last night, around 8pm, that my duffle bag was missing. As in not there. Not in the house, not in the vehicle. All my clothes that I packed, two pairs of pj's, and both pillows from my bed, gone. Well now, I thought to myself. That creates a bit of a conundrum.

Several phone calls later I managed to leave a message with the caretakers of the camp where we went scrapbooking. My best guess was that when I kicked it down the stairs from the bedrooms, I left it there. Must have had other stuff on my mind.

Today I got to speak in person with Natasha, the wife of the husband/wife team that take care of the camp. We shared a giggle, and I learned that no, they weren't coming into town today, but could have their friend bring it in tomorrow, and I could arrange pick up with him. No thanks, I said. I had the afternoon off work, so I would be able to drive out and get it.

It was a good time to rethink all the stuff that was running through my head. God and I had a long conversation, about Jane and I, and our friendship. He challenged me in my marriage to my husband, to take some steps that I wouldn't normally consider.

Tonight while listening to a cd of mixed music, the words from "Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns hit me like a ton of bricks. It goes like this: I barely hear You whisper through the rain/"I'm with you"... I broke down and wept.

I guess we figure that we have to take on this life all by our grown-up selves. We can do it. We're strong, capable women who are forging onward and forward, taking on stuff and trying to carry things that are way too big for us. In that one line, God shouted to me, I'M WITH YOU. He gets it. He feels it. He's there. For every aching piece of my heart that wants to have what I cannot, He understands. He knows how scared I am to try to forge some kind of connection with my husband, for fear of hurt and all that past emotional garbage that likes to surface.

I'm reminded of that verse in the Bible that talks about how good it is to have a friend, so that when you stumble, you don't fall, because your friend is there to help you up. God understands, and is holding my hand, right at this very minute.