How to Dance

I saw one of those fwd:fwd:fwd emails today. The thing that caught my eye were the pictures. This little blond-haired cutie, all of maybe five years old, with a big grin on his face. "So what?" you may be thinking. Well, here's the kicker: he didn't have any legs.

This young man obviously didn't mind that he didn't have legs as he had a great pair of prosthetics. a couple of pairs, from what I could tell. Specially made ones for running and sports, and another for day to day stuff that could wear a pair of runners or shoes. Every picture had a smile. He didn't let his obvious disability stop him. He plays hockey, wakeboards, does track and field, and plays golf. More stuff than I've done ever, and I'm .. well, I'm a lot older than he is.

The caption at the top of the pictures reads "You can't do what? Attitude is everything!" As much as it pains me -- and I do realize that depending on the day I'm having-- I can either agree wholeheartedly or thumb my nose at that sentence! Isn't that the way life is? Last week I had a incident in my personal life that rocked me. Lets just say that I was definitely thumbing my nose.

I'm working on changing who I am now into who I'm meant to be. What comes with that is dealing with old habits, and old patterns, and boy I tell you it is a frustrating battle at the best of times. I compared it to cancer in a journal entry to my counsellor. This "emotional cancer" is rampant throughout my mental health. It is woven and tangled into every fiber and thought. It's had twenty plus years to grow and become imbedded into my psyche. If this was a real physical disease, I doubt that the prognosis for my recovery would be good. Hence the reason for me thumbing my nose last week at my issue.

Truth be told, it broke me. I wept. I felt completely helpless. I didn't know what to do with me, or my life, or any of it. Remember the movie Edward Scissorhands? I felt like that; unable to embrace and love because my hands cause wounds and cuts. Honestly speaking, it was brutal. I've managed to move forward, with the support of people around me that are helping me. I'm understanding more with the help of our marriage counsellor. I know that it's going to take stepping into the rough patches and working through the mental garbage to get to the other side.

At the end of the photos of this young boy with no legs is written this quote: "Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain." In all that I continue to walk through in my life, I want to remember this kid. He's dancing, and I'm going to learn how to dance too.