Have you ever found yourself just slightly annoyed? Ever so slightly? And then the more you consider the annoyance, the worse it becomes. I'm sure that there is a biblical lesson in all of this, but right now I'll be honest: I don't want to see it. I want to be mad, and be okay with being mad. I want to be upset with the unfairness of stupid circumstances that seem to trip us up in our marriage whenever we just start running at a decent pace.

I thought I had it figured out, dealt with it (the annoyance), and all was good. Then another detail surfaced that I was not aware of. As my daughter thought aloud, talking more to herself than to me on the drive home, some details that I was not privvy to came to light. I discovered that there were things said that I was not aware of, that I should be aware of--in fact, they are key factors to how well I can run this race called life and marriage. And yes, it annoys me.

I guess it all comes down to what I do with this information. It is laughable at best for me to think for a minute that I can handle this all by my grown up self. I think this is where I crumble to the ground in front of my heavenly Dad, and let him be all that I need. He whispered to me this morning in fact. Know what he said?

"I am enough for you."

I need to stop myself, right now in the midst of all my justification, my rights, my 'knowing I'm right', my pain and hurt and sadness, and say "Yes, Jesus. You are enough for me. You are all that I need. You are my defender. I don't have to defend myself, because you go before me, and you defend me!"

I can see that my enemy doesn't want me to succeed in my marriage. In fact, he uses the same old tools over and over and over, because they work. If I'm going to be smarter than my enemy, I have to get with the One who fights on my behalf.

Huh. I think I know what I need to do.